Lots of people fill the internet with relatable experiences, but I’m all about celebrating our differences, so for today, here’s a list of things I worry about that most people don’t.
I left the charger for my laptop in my other city.
The fear of my sexuality spontaneously changing. Paranoia that mentioning things to do with my sexuality is weird, combined with the knowledge that at least one of my parents doesn’t understand what said sexuality is and the other is shaky on the details at best.
My Chinese teacher can’t read my English handwriting. I can only listen to some music genres in a loud hallway or classroom. I can’t wash my blazer because the pockets are full of important things. I already know everything we learn in science, but somehow I got a merit on an internal at the beginning of the year, making me want to break my feet.
I keep thinking of cutting off my little toe, and it disturbs me. I’m going to die someday, and it could be today. Everything I learn about the human body makes me more paranoid about getting sick or hurt.
I need to keep writing because I want to, but everything I write seems silly a day later.
I keep choosing music (or talking on the phone) over the news. Most people disagree with me, so what if I’m wrong and they’re right? My friends won’t argue with me because I’m too aggressive. Has everything been determined since the beginning of time? Does that mean that all of time is just fixed, like space, and always has been? How can time have a beginning? What if none of my ideas are original? What happens when all possible art has been made? What happens when the sun explodes?
Global warming is very hard to stop. Global poverty is very easy to stop. I feel like most people I don’t know are idiots, but I know that only bad people think that. What if I’m not smart?
Everyone is less happy than me.
I need to write more James Shaw and the Orange Election man. I don’t know which of my acquaintances know that my parents are getting a divorce. The ones that don’t must think that I’m really flaky. How are you supposed to know if someone is asking you out, and how do you avoid it? Am I agender or am I over analyzing the concept of gender? (It’s the second thing.) I cannot open jars. I have no passion because I love doing everything. I don’t understand sports as an ambition.
What if I don’t really love my family, I just think I should so I act like I do? Where do I keep my hands when I’m not using them? I keep biting and picking at my lip until it bleeds. Where do I look after I’ve noticed someone on the street? Why is society wrong about everything?
I can’t find pants that fit right on my tiny waist. I just wrote this entire list on my geography work.